Toys On The Brain

Archive for the ‘Electronic Toys’ Category

When I first started researching to write this review, I naturally headed over to Amazon to see if they had this toy and how much it would cost there. Imagine my surprise, nay, SHOCK when I saw that someone was trying to sell it for over $35! I quickly realized that a) people are incredibly greedy and b) I should have bought more of them for only $10 at Toys R Us.

Anyway, on to the toy. It’s your basic toy gun that makes noises and lights up. Nothing special there. It’s themed off the upcoming movie Monsters Vs. Aliens and looks a lot like a 1950’s scifi ray gun. Pulling the trigger makes the interior spin around and creates ray gun blaster sound effects. The good news is that it’s fairly quiet (comparatively) and doesn’t have a lot of bells and whistles to get broken. The bad news is that the batteries died after only a day of use; while they were crappy batteries that were included with the toy, there’s no telling how long the fresh set will last either.

In the grand scheme of things, I suppose you could do a lot worse if you have kids who like to play with guns. At least nothing is projectile, and while the sound is annoying, it won’t deafen you. Note that this is NOT worth $35, though. It’s a cheap molded plastic and nothing more. Go look at Toys R Us and get it for $10.

Small Person #3 has the dubious privilege of inheriting most of her toys from her older brothers. This means that much of what she has is fairly gross - chewed-on, faded, mucked up in general. So, for Christmas she got a few new toys of her own to enjoy. One of the more promising was the Sassy Harmonization Fascination Station Suction toy (whew, that’s a mouthful!).

Similar to the toy that came with her bebePod, this handy little toy is similar to a windmill, with different toys that spin around. However, unlike the bebePod toy, this one attaches to a suction cup and includes a musical feature. The music plays whenever baby moves the toy, and the sounds itself are actually quite pleasant without being too loud. The toy was an immediate hit!

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These were one of the (many) toys the kids got from people who don’t bother with silly things like recommended ages. These are for 8 years and up; Small Person #1 is 5, his brother is 3. Needless to say, these aren’t exactly practical for little kids. Of course, they also aren’t practical for older people, either.

Sure, the idea of night vision is cool. You can run around outside in the dark, play hide and seek, do all sorts of cool things! Until you realize that you have NO depth perception (that means no outside where you might trip or misjudge an obstacle), an extremely limited field of vision (which means no running - you can’t see what’s right underneath you), and the battery life sucks (which means you should carry around a screwdriver and extra batteries - extra weight is totally cool).

But hey, these are just toys, right? Surely I’m being too harsh for a toy! Yeah, how many toys cost $80 and then suck down batteries like an SUV guzzles gas? Plus, I’m pretty sure I read somewhere that rechargeable batteries aren’t recommended. So now you’re throwing in regular expensive batteries (five of them at a time!) for only three hours of play. Oh, and to top it off, the stupid things don’t turn off on their own, so if someone forgets to turn them off, there goes yet another set of batteries. (And we all know how well little kids remember to turn things off, right?)

Of course, you may have an older kid (a responsible older kid) who would really like these. If so, more power to you. Just make sure s/he is careful - taking a header with a pair of these on is going to cost you a pretty penny. And hey, maybe the boys will actually get some use out of them… in about 5 years.

• EyeClops Website

Buy EyeClops Night Vision Infrared Stealth Goggles Online:

• at Amazon.com

The holiday season is pretty much over, and you know what that means… lots of toys to review! As usual, the boys got more toys than they could ever conceivably need, so we have lots to choose from in the new year. First up? A toy Small Person #2 had on his list to Santa, and actually got (the other two things were “real duck” and “life-size nutcracker soldier” - shocking he didn’t get everything he asked for).

Flippin Frogs is produced by Mattel and is somewhat like the classic game Ants in the Pants. The goal is to get as many of your frogs onto the tree by catapulting them off of your little plastic flipper and then hoping they all stay put when the tree suddenly pops up at the end. Whoever has the most left on the tree at the end wins.

The great thing about this game is that it’s SHORT. It doesn’t take forever, but it’s entertaining enough that the kids want to play it more than once. The little frogs are fairly squishy, so if one gets catapulted into your face you won’t have to go to work explaining your black eye. The bad thing is that it’s actually kind of hard to do. The frogs tend to either fly over the tree or land so precariously that they all fall off when the tree pops up. Plus, Small Person #2 keeps forgetting to continue trying to get frogs on the tree once he gets one on. Of course, he’s younger than the recommended 5 years, but that’s not really a big deal.

You may be put off by the fact that this toy needs batteries, but fear not. As long as you play on the carpet, it’s not very loud at all, and it doesn’t run forever so you won’t find yourself going insane from the sound.

Overall, it’s a good little game. It’s not going to be teaching any necessary skills to kids, but not everything has to be educational, right? Just remember to put it away when they’re done; if you don’t, you’ll be finding the little frogs all over the room once the kids figure out just how high and far they can make them fly.

Buy Flippin Frogs Online:

• at Target
• at Amazon.com

Now, I know it’s the holiday season and some of you are probably rushing trying to find the right toy to get for your child this year. In honor of that fact, I’ll cut right to the chase on this one so you don’t have to spend too much of your time reading to get a complete picture of the toy. Here it is: IT SUCKS. Totally and completely. Don’t waste your time or money. For more details, read on.

The first thing that strikes you when you open the toy has less to do with the toy and more to do with the picture on the front of the box. In that picture, two kids are seen playing with the bowling set. After you see the size of the bowling set, it immediately becomes clear that these poor children clearly have some sort of horrendous growth disorder, because the set in reality is TINY. If these sadly undersized children are actually proportional to the toy, they’d be about the size of 6 month olds.

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When I reviewed the Lite Brite Cube, I mentioned all the things that I didn’t like: no batteries, no place to really store the pegs, and shoddy construction, to name a few. Oh, sure, the boys still liked it, but it was a pain in the butt for the rest of humanity. So, it seems that someone out there was listening, as now we have the Lite Brite Flat Screen, which seemingly remedies all of these issues.

For the record, it’s entirely possible that this version has been out for a very long time. However, we just received it for Small Person #1’s birthday, so this is the first chance I’ve had to try it out.

The first difference with the flat screen version is that it runs off batteries - three D batteries, to be precise. This is great for travel or using someplace where you don’t have access to an outlet. Finally, Junior isn’t tethered to the wall! Of course, you’ll want to invest in some rechargeable batteries, or get a lot of regular batteries to keep up with its power needs if your child really likes it.

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We’ve actually had this toy for quite some time. And for some reason, unlike most of the other toys, it has never seemed to make its way up to the boys’ room in order to make room for other toys to come down. It’s not that it’s an absolute must-have for them (it can go days without being touched), but I think it’s just sort of become part of the decor of the living room. When you think about it, that’s actually kind of sad…. Anyway, on to the toy itself.

It’s a two-level playset that comes with a little ATV, helicopter, Diego figure, and five animals. Other pieces that come off include a jungle vine (long since lost), a “zip line” that never (nope, not even once) stayed attached to the little hut it was supposed to attach to, and a few sundry pieces of furniture like a telescope, food bowl, etc. None of these detachable pieces have survived to this point - undoubtedly they’re somewhere in the house, but they’re certainly not in any close vicinity to the play set.

The most interesting-sounding features, like the zip line, elevator, and helicopter end up being the most boring. The helicopter kind of swings around if you push down on the bird’s nest… but it also makes an annoying sound and doesn’t move very well. The elevator is nearly impossible to move. As for the zip line… well, that became Indiana Jones’ whip and got tossed in the garbage. It was a hard plastic thing with even harder bits on the ends and that just wasn’t going to stay in a house with two active (and somewhat evil) little boys. Plus, it never stayed attached to the little hut on the ground, and the harness Diego needs to zip down it is very difficult to get on. The boys don’t miss it, and neither do we.

So, with all the bad about the toy, is there really anything good? Well, yes. When you take out the silly (and incredibly annoying) electronic noises and ill conceived design ideas, it ends up being a fun play set to use for make-believe Diego stories. The helicopter (which comes off its little hook and can be used separately) and ATV are fun little vehicles in their own right, and your kids will probably end up conducting quite a few animal rescues with just these toys on their own.

Oh, one last thing. You see that little piece of the rescue center’s floor that sticks out from the rest in front of the annoying talking computer bit? For some unknown reason, it folds up and down. What does this mean for you? It means it will be coming off pretty much every five seconds while your child plays with the toy. Do yourself a favor and chuck it as soon as you get the thing out of the box. 3-year olds simply can’t remember not to lean on it - it’s just a fact of nature. I just wish one of the designers of this toy actually had a 3-year old at home. If they did, it might have been a really great toy instead of just a good-with-modifications toy.

Buy Diego’s Talking Rescue Center Online:

• at Amazon.com

When the folks at Green Party Supplies asked if they could send me a toy to review, I was downright giddy. When I read about it, I was even more excited. A fun toy that doesn’t need batteries every two days? How awesome! Of course, the real worth would lie in how much Small Persons 1 and 2 liked it.

The first thing that strikes you about this toy is the packaging. With a typical toy, the process of getting it out goes something like this:

1. Try to rip open plastic. Fail.
2. Get out scissors. Cut off edge of plastic. Try to open plastic. Fail.
3. Get out knife. Cut off more plastic. Take small chunk of flesh off of thumb. Succeed in partially opening package.
4. Rip rest of plastic open. Remove skin from knuckles. Encounter the dreaded “hard silver twisty tie things.”
5. Get out scissors again. Saw at hard silver twisty tie things. Cut through most of them.
6. Remove toy, with hard silver twisty tie things still attached, from cardboard. Impale finger on hard silver twisty tie things.
7. Rip out final vestiges of hard silver twisty tie things. Lose small ends in toy. Toy will now rattle for the rest of its usable days, constantly whispering “You failed, you failed!”
8. Child has long since lost interest in toy and started playing with the cardboard shipping box it came in. You require 6 stitches.

With the Ecotronic Rocket, the removal process goes something like this:

1. Slide paper wrapper off.
2. Open recycled cardboard package.
3. Lift toy out of package.

Can we guess which one I prefer?

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We bought this toy for two reasons. First, Small Person #2 (currently 3.5 years) loves to pretend to cook. Second, both older kids love bubbles (really, who doesn’t?). So, we figured #2 could cook and #1 could do bubbles concurrently, as this toy is very nearly large enough for them to share at the same time. So, how does it stack up?

Surprisingly, despite only being $10 on Amazon, it’s a pretty darn good little toy. It makes tons of bubbles and comes with enough accessories to keep those with short attention spans entertained. For the best bubbles, though, Small Person #2 just uses the brush and brushes bubble solution directly onto the “grill” surface. The resulting bubbles are huge and numerous, leading to many a “Hey, Caitlin! Come see my gigantic bubble! Quick!”

The downside is that it can be fairly messy - there’s a little catch tray that fits underneath to catch bubble solution that falls through, but it’s not easy to get in and sits rather precariously. I recommend using it outside on a hard, flat surface or, if you’re a brave soul, inside on a firm surface with a towel underneath.

The recommended age is 3 years and up, but with direct adult supervision I think younger kids would enjoy this as well.

Buy Gazillion Bubble BBQ Online:

• at Amazon.com
• at KBToys
• at WalMart

When I saw this in a catalog, I thought it looked wonderful. A neat looking, soft turtle that shines different colors of stars around a kid’s room; what could be better? Alas, this one has to go right into my “doh!” pile.

At first glance, the toy seems great… then you touch it and realize that whole “soft” theory is out the window. The shell is very hard, and the edges would be quite uncomfortable to roll over on while sleeping. Even the bottom, where there’s a bit of stuffing, isn’t particularly soft. Sure, the head and legs are relatively squishy, but they’re small in relation to the rest of the toy.

Then we get down to how it works. There are four buttons on the top - one turns it on and the other three change the color of the stars. Here’s where I had a “huh?” moment. You see, there’s no off button, so no matter what, the damn thing stays on for 45 minutes. This is a huge battery drain. You can flip the switch on the underside near the battery compartment, but then the kid can’t turn it back on the middle of the night.

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